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The family is the bedrock for all learning because mom and dad are probably the first set of individuals every child would relate with, would really get to know on earth but things do fall apart when the family that should be the building block to a child’s future success becomes its downfall due to the lack of care, affection and love devoted upon the wards in the family. This perhaps, is the most cogent reason why there are so many maimed (euphemism) children of Africa gallivanting around the wide continent in search of nothing exactly. This is usually caused by parents who do not understand parenting and do it wrongly, but today we shall be on the bright side and help parents with tips on how to be positive parents.
Wondering how you can become a positive parent to your children in the African society? Or maybe wanting to learn how to become a better father or mother to the kids?
Then you’ve come to the right place as in today’s blog we shall be deliberating upon how to become a better/positive parent in the African context.
Listen to your children
Attention is definitely one of the things every child craves from their parents. Your kids want to feel you; they want to feel your presence in their lives.
Being attentive to your kids would make them more flexible with you, this really helps parenting especially when the kids have grown or are becoming into teenagers.
When your kids are able to speak with you, they are able to share their innermost fears, thoughts, plans and even ideas with you. This is turn builds a greater rapport between parent and children in a family.
Be good role models to your kids
In some way or the other, parents have always been (at some point or the other) role models to their kids. This is simply because the kids are first taught things, shown love, and make friends with their parents.
So it makes much sense why kids tend to hold onto the values, portray the doings and emulate the lifestyle of their parents. Just as there is a higher chance of finding a smoker with parents who smoke, there is also the chance of finding a simple lady who had minimalist parents.
Hold meaningful talks with your kids – ask questions from them. Get to know about what’s new in their lives, the intricate things they wish to share, the songs they like, their favorite sports player and everything else in between. Be there when they are on cloud 9 to laugh with them and also when they have their heads bent depicting sadness. This creates a closer bond than any authoritative or charismatic leadership ever can.
Parents in modern times tend to get so lost and consumed by work so much that they forget about family and lose a little more of their children’s affection for them as each day goes by and they are buried on their laptops working.
A simple question like ‘How was your day?’ can steer up a meaningful conversation between parent and children and this definitely goes a long way into making days memorable, talking to someone you love. Though most, especially teenagers would always reply ‘fine’ and this might not always be so, they take note of the efforts made by parents to want to know about how their day is and eventually, they would open up.
Motivate your children
When kids bring up ideas on things they would like to try out and maybe need support from, it is the role of a parent to further motivate such a child on how they should get things done the right way.
Even if these ideas seem foolish or childish – let them, after all kids will always be kids, right?
Doing this builds up a high self-esteem in kids and they learn to believe in themselves, they are able to stand firm on their belief systems and let naysayers profess whatever they want to with them being unperturbed.
Be Friendly with the childrenBe more of a friend and less of a boss to your children. Click To Tweet
In most African homes – the fathering figures; men are seen by kids as the ever-stern parent who are built up to be stones even towards their family members most especially the kids.
Why? Well – because they say ‘Men or African don’t cry and they don’t laugh either’.
This is a wrong mentality however because there is nothing wrong with a parent holding joyful memories with their families. It definitely doesn’t cause a recline on the level of respect one’s spouse or children have.
Parents especially fathers need to learn how to smile more, talk more, and be friendlier to their kids and the family and not just to alcoholic bottles.
Profess Positivity on the kids
As an African child, how would it have felt if your dad came every morning and said these words to you;
‘Son/Daughter, you are going to be someone great in life someday,
You just have to believe and work towards it!’
I’m sure so many young adults of today would be in a much better living condition now. Parents should never undermine the impact of their words on their children because even if the kids do not take it seriously as at when these words were said to them, eventually – it’ll sip into them and they’ll subconsciously work based on these things they’ve been told and live with much positivity and purpose of self in them.
Allow their choices
When it comes to making critical decisions in life, parents tend to want to control/manipulate some of these decisions e.g. career choice, relationship partners, living and life style but as positive parents, it’s better not to do this and to leave the children to make their own decision. It’s their lives after all.
This doesn’t mean parents can’t have some say on these choices however especially when their intuitions feel they are not right for the kids; this is totally normal. Parents in this case should not make their opinions on children as orders or commands but in form of a friendly advice and a counsel since obviously they are more experienced and might know more than the kids. Learn to make them see and reason with the negative effects of what they are about to do in comparison to another better option.
Be Available When They Need You
There is hardly anything that a child wants more than to be with its parents and to be able to feel their presence at the time of need, just as the first point indicates. Parents need to create time for their family as much as they do for their work or their careers.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO of Google, if you can’t care for your kids when their hearts yearn for you – you’re no less a failure at home but a success as work.
Be more practical
Everyone, even children would love to see a working man than they would like to hear tales of a man working! Who doesn’t prefer attending a live concert to listening to one?
When it comes to getting your children involved in things such as movements or causes, parents should endeavor to become participants as well. This would further motivate the children into believing they too (children) can do.
If there are other or better tips for positive parenting you have for African parents, kindly drop them in the section and if you have questions, kindly ask.